Earlier today, during the madness of the afternoon sun, while Ilham and Hachi were both napping, without any warning, i broke down into an uncontrolled bout of tears. Sipping on my hot tea and reading a very good ebook that i've just purchased, my simple mind managed to wander off into this long abandoned recess. Out of thin air, my thoughts suddenly conjure an image of her. I felt my throat start to swell up.
One of the many things that ive missed not having my own car these days is the convenience to travel. I remember how i used to drive up to Lim Chu Kang Rd on my own all the way from Simei, just so that i could visit her. Deranged as it may seem, but it was one of those few places, those rare moments where i could actually find true solace. Its not so convenient these days.
Oh how i long to see her face again. How i wish Ilham could have been given the opportunity to meet her. She'd adore him. Celebrations these days dont mean much to me. Its one of the reasons why i shrugged at the idea of festivities looming in the near future. Ramadhan and Syawal. Urgh. Blasphemous? Perhaps. But given a different circumstance, i would have been the first to jump at the opportunity of a better day. Better days. I've had that.
"Vavan, jangan lupa sembahyang"
Her last few words to me.